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Risen from the dead…. *creeps*

June 14, 2009
Ok… I know the title of this entry is rather mysterious… and this post is nothing short of that… or at least it is to me… Have been contemplating whether to write this… but I guess I do have to let it out…

For those who knew my past, you would have known about my rather drama-like 21st birthday… if not, you could check it out here

Well, so J has been totally out of my life for sometime that feels like forever…

My friends all prophesied his death… *ouch*

Or had most probably killed him over and over again during previous bitching sessions…

As for me, I could hardly remember him since I’m well-loved and happy right now…

Till recently…

I was on msn, while working on my assignments, and an unsaved contact popped up…

It was J…

(Turns out that I have deleted his contact but have not blocked him… @_@… yea.. I know I’m smart… blek)

It was totally unexpected… shocking… and rather amusing…. hmm…

How would you respond to a person who left you on your birthday, disappeared without a sound, changed his contacts, gave no explanations, left the last words of ‘please wait for me, and I will be back’, yet avoided you for what seemed forever, till he replied your email asking you to move on with a simple, insincere apology; and after more than a year contacting you with tonnes of apology and offering to make it up to you?

The answer is extremely simple for me.

I have indeed move on.

I no longer love/hate him.

I no longer question myself or blame myself for something totally not my fault.

I no longer live on uncertainties.

I no longer go against my friends and dwell in the past.

I no longer hold any grudge on him.

In fact, I sympathized and pitied him – for losing a gem like me.

Throughout the whole conversation, I could feel that he was trying hard to mend something that he thought was broken, and hinting that he could rebuild a new home over the ruins.

But the main thing is, why now? and what for?

I had to make it clear to him that my life has been great with great love, great friends, and great opportunities, and I even rejected his proposal of meeting up for ‘proper explanation about the past.’ I have moved on, and so should he.

L and Wira made the funniest comments regarding this incident, but they shall remain as our personal joke =P

To J, (although I doubt that you would ever come upon this)

What is past is past, let it pass. I have long forgiven you because I do not need to live my life in hatred and bitterness. I could only wish you all the best, and that you would treat the next girl better.

On a totally random note, I’m only having a tomato for dinner… @_@… Lol…

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Trishomachine. permalink
    June 14, 2009 11:32 pm

    You go girl!

  2. ah^kam_koko' permalink
    June 16, 2009 1:42 pm

    When you get back with my $$$, can we meet up for 'proper explanation about the past' aka. catch up?

    It's not just about my $$$, I honestly want to see you too.
    We can have tomatoes from Jusco.
    That'll save me some $$$.

  3. Loving life. permalink
    June 17, 2009 11:22 am

    0_o! <– not sure what this face is, just got introduced to it.. seems to signal bewilderment of some sort.. but neways, good on ya felicia.. looks like you're doing great with life. =)

  4. Poh Lin permalink
    June 22, 2009 6:49 pm

    A situation i know too well! haha!

    Great decisions! Wise choices! 😉

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