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as the year comes to a close…

December 27, 2010

what a ride it has been…

 

I’ve grown so much, inside out… and also horizontally T________T

 

But the biggest lesson of all,

I’ve learnt to be grateful.

Developing the heart of thankfulness, appreciating things in life in a different light, turning sorrows into a hopeful future, lessening complains and self-pity, increasing forgiveness and acceptance…

With that mindset, my days have been happier too.

 

I realised, sometimes when someone is bitter, that person has the tendency to spread negativity to people around them…

As if they could never be the only one in pain and hatred…

As if they needed assurance that it is alright to dwell in such emotional pain…

 

This year itself, I see so many friendships falling apart… It is such a heart-breaking pity… And is it even worth it?

When it comes to who’s right and who’s wrong, who are we to judge?

The onlookers of the situation, as much as they try, will never truly comprehend what have happened, and what really went wrong…

Then why do we try to insert our two cents worth of standing point, which could possibly lead to a bigger gap between the parties to a point of no return?

Isn’t fighting.. or hating… just plain tiring?

.

I am no angel.

I had my fair share of envy, disagreement, and anger throughout this year.

It took me time, but I came to understand – in the world of hatred, I will be the sole fighter, in this never-ending battle.

You will have people on your side.. But for how long?

They too have a life of their own, and is it even fair to involve them in the first place?

If it is easier for you to hate on someone every moment, every day, even though it is torturous… To have your mind consumed with questions like ‘how could he/she do that to me?’, eating you alive everyday…

Isn’t it easier to just breathe, try to put all this in the past, resolve or reconcile, so that you could have a brand new start with less of such negativity?

.

.

Recently, the hottest topic was about our posting… Again and again, our government administrative has proven to us that they are lacking in many ways… It does get frustrating, as we felt that our lives are dangling under their mercy or rather convenience, and some felt that we are being toyed with…

Many resolved to their ‘cables’, hoping to pave their way into a more pleasant and under-their-approval ‘first posting’…

Well, I have none.

Oops, need to defer…

I have one cable – My Lord’s cable!

I know that I have a bigger purpose in Him… We may plan our works, but God works our plans – and most of the time, His plans… lol…

So I have come to my personal closure that… as He knows what’s best for me, I will go wherever He sends…

and I will be planted and will blossom under His guidance…

So far, He has been real faithful to me. And I have no reason not to trust Him this one more time.

But if I were to insert a little selfish desire of mine, I do hope that God will place me in a place where my Digi Broadband could follow me… Lol…

*Lord, could you grant me this request?*

.

.

Probably for the next entry, I would recollect on my fav memories of 2010… As another means of reflection of gratitude…

Unless of course, I got lazy… :p

As of now, too much deep-thinking requires me to give my mind a break…

So I shall continue on my Pokemon Black and White post-game battles… Lol…

 

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 30, 2010 11:11 am

    I will pull my Lord cable so He puts you in my school.
    Then I can push you around & take credit for your hard work!
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~~~

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