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the Afterthought

January 25, 2011

by now, nearly all of us would have known which state we get posted to.

.

So this, would be a really honest writing from me.

No more holding back.

My afterthoughts – the way I am receiving this news.

.

The fateful morning of yesterday, when FB totally went crazy, flooded with screams and shrieks of Cohort 4, I was in total oblivion – teaching my 4E class. In fact, during all the chaos, my mind was only occupied with thoughts on whether kids would enjoy the 2 short video clips I had prepared, or how to rebuke this boy who made a girl cry.

So, when I got back to the staff room around 12.15, i checked my phone and saw this text message from L, and several miss calls.

So yeah, news were out, links were posted, and apparently FB had been extremely happening.

My heart just S.A.N.K at that point. I was beyond nervous.

Immediately I called Chong and asked about the situation, and she briefed me in about who got this and that, and also that Po got Kelantan, and is extremely upset about it.

Immediately I felt for Po, even stating how she must be disappointed about it; while worrying about my own posting.

Right after the call, I tried to go online with my Netbook and for some reason, it just was not connecting… You can say that I panicked…

Then, Mum came into the staff room too, and I told her posting is out! Immediately, she rushed to the school’s computers and we loaded the KPM page, filled in my ID number, and waited for the page to load….

IT TOOK AGESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Finally, a new page loaded.

and…

I got Kelantan…

My heart disappeared… Just shrunk, and disappeared.

I turned over, and looked at my mum.

I could see she was taken aback too.

Then she said, “you pray for God’s will to be done. So maybe that is His will.”

That moment, I think I had not actually digested the new-found information yet.

We tried to load JPN Kelantan so that we could call up and ask about the school placement.

Once again, the website took forever. And mum suddenly walked off. So I just went to JPN’s main website to get the Kelantan’s branch number. Made a few calls and finally got through, the person gave me another number to contact, and I called another few times before I was connected to a person in charged.

She sounded friendly and helpful though. When she asked for my name, I proceeded to spell out ‘F-E-L-I-C-I-A’, and she interrupted and asked, “Didn’t you called just now?” I was puzzled. Turned out, my mum called up minutes before me. So I just laughed it off with the person in charged…

It is true that our parents are more anxious than us 😉

.

I think I was still taking all these in slowly, until I called up Po. It was a rather intense conversation because she was upset about our posting.

Mainly because I then found out many of our friends actually got their first choice.

In fact, out of all the Perak-ians with secondary school option, only 3 of us (all chinese) were sent far away from our homestate – one to Sabah, and us two to Kelantan…

Of course, it got me thinking, are we victims again, of racial segregation???

Am I experiencing such unfairness again???

It doesn’t really help when you received such a news in a chinese school, surrounded by many concerned chinese teachers, who took turns to ‘console’ you…

.

Without a doubt, many of us chinese do not have a good perception of the Kelantan state, mainly because of political, religion, and geographical issues.

I am guilty as charged.

I don’t have personal issues with Malays. In fact, I have quite a few dearies who ARE Malays. I think they are wonderful people. Disciplined, caring; many whom I could learn from. And I myself have HUGE issue with RACISM!

But I won’t deny I loathe the system, having been affected by it for many times.

That’s why I worried whether I would be treated as a second-class citizen in a state run by Islamic laws, with a population of 95% Malays.

.

After lots of thoughts, prayers, talks with my parents, encouragement from Facebook messages, and phonecalls from loved ones…

I have decided…

that this is indeed, a HUMBLING journey for me.

.

To change whatever pre-conception and fear I have with this foreign state,

To embrace this selected destiny given to me by God, and give it my best,

To trust that God knows best, and will remain faithful to me,

To pray for internet connectivity, and for God to see L and I through this HUGE challenge…

.

This doesn’t mean I’m no longer afraid…

Heck, I still get nightmares when I dwell long on it…

.

But dad said something that so struck me…

‘If I were to get places of my choice (big cities like Ipoh or Penang or even KL), it would have been easy to praise God.

But if I get a place out of my comfort zone, out of my expectations, such as Kelantan, and I am still able to praise God; then will I be a great testimony for Him.”

.

That got me thinking too…

Will I truly be happy in Penang or Ipoh?

.

Sometimes, we have such fixed mindsets of what would make us happy, we tend to judge something without even giving it a try.

Likewise, we assume we will be happy if we get what we want. But is that what we need?

.

.

So,

Please continue to keep me in your prayers,

As I really can’t do this with my own strength and wisdom.

.

PS. I’m feeling much stronger and positive today, as I have several people telling me about Kelantan – the people, the cheap food, the security.

And for some reason Gua Musang doesn’t even sound so scary anymore (if I actually get that), as it is near to Cameron Highlands, filled with natural beauty, and only 3 hours plus away from Taiping~

.

.

So, my immediate actions-to-do-list are as such:

1. Get a few sets of Baju Kurung

2. Revamp my closet with *coughs* decent *coughs* clothes

3. Get a new bible (old one quite torn and used…lol) and some devotional readings

4. Eat up a feast (screw my diet) for this remaining days in Taiping

5. Take family pictures in the Photo Studio

6. Enjoy my CNY break like nobody’s business

7. Lastly (should be my MOST immediate action), get my lessons done for tomorrow’s classes…lol…

So yea~

A new journey bound to begin soon.

I am taking,

the less-travelled road.

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18 Comments leave one →
  1. January 25, 2011 10:29 pm

    Felicia, I’m glad you took this rather well. It’s funny that I’m the one who lives in Kelantan but somehow I seem to be the one who’s been crying a lot because I got posted to my own state. Being art and tech-inclined is hard when my resources are mostly in KL.

    Honestly speaking, the ones who get criticised a lot to an extreme point in this state are Malays. I feel discriminated and like an outcast in my own hometown, which is why I wanted to get away in the first place.But then when they are kind, they can be VERY kind. It all depends actually. No one would actually throw looks or critique a Chinese lady (in fact the nice makcik at our pasar who always gives me discount on volume purchase is Chinese as well, hehehe). Chinese and Thai girls are like fashion icons here. They handle fashion shops, salons, spas, etc. The worse racist people could do is play the ignore game, so yeah… Let’s hope for the best.

    Oh, oh… People here are known to be materialistic somehow, so don’t be scared to flash your bling blings. They’ll go “oooh” 😛

    Good luck and welcome to Kelantan from me 🙂
    See you February 7th!

    p.s/
    On a lighter note, I’m 100% sure you’ll be welcomed very nicely because…well, you’re a pretty young thing and Kelantanese likes pretty people they can admire 😛 I guess the only thing you should worry about is what you wear at school 😉

    • January 26, 2011 2:32 pm

      *biggie hugs*
      Thanks intan for such insightful comments.. I actually had FUN reading it..lol..

      Hmm… Now I should start to korek for my Blings…hahahaha

  2. Pikah permalink
    January 25, 2011 10:57 pm

    hihi I enjoyed reading Intan’s comment. very resourceful since she’s been living there for quite some time.
    I just wanna say; Man those Kelantanese school kids are really lucky to have u! Dedicated, hardworking, and…. pretty teacher! And I know at heart u are a good teacher. If someday I have kids and we happen to be living in the same town, I would definite be sending my kids to the school you u are teaching. So, good luck, embark on your journey with a smile and a strong heart. Love always. ;p

    • January 26, 2011 2:34 pm

      Pikah, pikah~~~Always so sweeeeet 🙂
      Thanks for your encouragement! I’m sure you will end up being the Most Fav Teacher of your school 😉

      p/s. you may have to send your kid to auckland for studies…lol… *am currently building castles in the air*

  3. Kisahdreamer permalink
    January 25, 2011 11:38 pm

    Be strong girl. Good luck. It’s just a phase. Something new. We are all uncomfortable with changes, but regardless, if we strive to endure, we can find happiness and satisfaction in there somewhere.
    All the best to all of us. =D

    • January 26, 2011 2:36 pm

      Thanks Nisah. Every encouragement I get now is definitely added strength and support 🙂

      All the best to all of us~ and I know you will be a great force to be reckon with~

  4. January 26, 2011 4:19 am

    All the best, girl, on this road less traveled your about to embark. I’m pretty sure God will see you through and soon you’ll be throwing us amazing testimonies of what God is doing through you for His glory. And schools can definitely use dedicated teachers like you.

    • January 26, 2011 2:38 pm

      oh darling Lydia, it has been so long since I heard from you *hugs*
      all is well???
      Thanks for your lovely encouragement. You be good and happy too k, coz you look damn gorgeous whenever you smile 😉

  5. fakeplastictrees permalink
    January 26, 2011 5:37 am

    Ditto what everyone else has said. If I know Felicia, she’s strong, resourceful, determined, hardworking and an awesome teacher. So Felicia, you’ll be fine. Not worried a bit. I hope you’ll find time to update while you’re there, the journeys of the those treading the roads less taken are the best and most interesting to read and learn from! All the best! =D

    • January 26, 2011 2:40 pm

      hahahaha… ain, I love reading your blog. Because you have the power of simplicity, yet insightful writing 🙂
      I know your sabah adevnture is also quite a challenging one, but without a doubt you will come out strong!
      Do write more on your new journey too, and share with us your joy and tears 🙂

  6. Nige permalink
    January 26, 2011 9:54 am

    “That’s why I worried whether I would be treated as a second-class citizen in a state run by Islamic laws, with a population of 95% Malays.”

    *Kelantan is still run under civil law. assuming the Islamic Law that you mention here is Hukum Hudud dan Qisas, those only applies on Muslims. you can still do and eat things Chinese if you want to. in fact, theres more Chinese in kelantan than terengganu!

    *95% Malays? tell ya what, Tranung is 97% malays and yet it feels home to me.

    Seriously Felicia, dont worry bout Kelantan. its a nice place, with nice people, and “sweet till youll lose teeth” food. plus, Taiping shoudltn be too far away from Kelantan – its always only a few hours of driving. and yeah – a weekend in Thailand with Poh Lin – that sounds good aye?

    • January 26, 2011 2:43 pm

      Thanks Nige! I know my pre-conception of kelantan can be easily proven wrong, if I actually get to experience the warmth and uniqueness of the the place 🙂
      Well, it’s high time to experience what I normally won’t right?
      Hope your posting in Sabah would turn out great too! and continue to spread the Hakka to the kids in sabah k..hehehe
      p/s. are you bringing over your coffee machine?

  7. nirzehrun permalink
    January 26, 2011 11:27 pm

    Felicia, stay strong girl! I believe that everything happens for a reason. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise…. Like Intan mentioned, there are nice people in Kelantan and I’m sure that it won’t be that bad(I actually lived in Kelantan when I was younger for a few years). This definitely will be a good experience for you…. I know that wherever you are posted, you’ll be a great teacher. You can do this! 🙂

    I wish you all the best! 🙂

    • January 31, 2011 2:26 pm

      thanks dear… now i am seeing how great is the disguise.. in fact i’m rather comfortable with the thought of going there now~

      Hope u’ll do well in yours too ❤

  8. January 29, 2011 1:42 pm

    Kelantan is Nik Aziz’s homeland!
    I’d feel safer there than in KL!
    Dont worry, be yourself & you’ll find the people there very accepting & friendly!

    Cant wait to read about your school! =)

    • January 31, 2011 2:27 pm

      hahahaha… thanks KoKo! You know you’ll hear more from me 😉

  9. grace lee permalink
    January 30, 2011 10:22 pm

    jia you ah Felicia! I’m sure that God will bless you abundantly as you obey Him. hug hug!! =)

    • January 31, 2011 2:28 pm

      Thanks Grace 😉
      now you make me sound a lil old-ish…lol

      U have fun in IPBA too k~

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