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The checklist

October 12, 2012
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chick flicks do one thing to you – it helps you to fantasize, or makes you all gooey inside. But many times, they aren’t realistic, and definitely biased (like what’s with them and running away from the wedding altar for their true love??? Doesn’t really compensate for the hurt towards the groom and totally an irresponsible thing to do!!!!)

.

well i still love chick flicks, they are my guilty pleasures. And more often than not, after a show, i would find myself in deep philosophical thoughts, or simply just sitting back and reflecting on this journey between alex and i.

i’m not gonna sugar coat it… but LDR is really hard.

there are times when i hated the unchangeable fact that we are physically so far away, and i felt like crying myself to sleep…

there are times i feel frustrated and mad at myself for not being able to be there for him (physically) when he needed me, but had to show that i really do care through bad skype quality and constant ‘dropped’ calls from viber…

there are times i pray for things to be simpler, without the time differences, the miles, the seasons…

.

Then i realised, we really did come far.

.

The thing with girls is, sometimes we don’t fall in love with a guy, but we fall in love with the idea of having a relationship with certain people.

Unconsciously, we have a checklist.

soapy love dramas taught us to find romance, or the spark, or simply to just have a feisty attitude so that some rich but cocky young man (who would happen to be awesomely handsome) would have the knees softened and shaken while pursuing us with his bad boy, possessive yet endearing charms.

but when reality strikes in, we just try to protect ourselves with the checklist:

are we compatible?

does he drive?

is he handsomely rich?

does he open the car door for ladies?

in a way, we are finding faults in that person or relationship, so as to help us make a decision whether the relationship is worth carrying on.

we try to love using our brains, instead of our heart.

.

Did i use a checklist on Alex?

Surprisingly no.

If i did, we probably wouldn’t have started.

We were COMPLETE opposites… from our interests, to our backgrounds, and even to our visions then.

But that’s the beauty of our relationship. Because there were no checklist as we simply just took the leap of faith, we (well, i know i for sure) constantly find reasons to stay in this relationship instead of opting out.

For instance today, i told him i had issues with the laughing lines and some wrinkles on my forehead… and immediately he went researching on the best anti-aging cream that i could consider. How’s that for being resourceful? 😉

I love that he is practical, and all about finding solutions instead of whining.

I love that he constantly worries about me.

I love that he tries to make me laugh when i attempt to be upset at him.

I love that he is my daily newscaster who keeps me up to date with the world stuff lol.

I love that he appreciates me, and is not afraid to show or tell me.

but most of all,

I don’t love the idea of having him,

I really do love him,

for who he is,

for what he is.

I remember crying, when my parents prayed for the both of us, and gave us their blessings.

and since that day, i would like to think that we just went even stronger.

.

I’m definitely glad i did not follow that checklist. If not, i would probably missed out on having this great guy in my life.

When God says ‘he’s the one.”… he IS the one.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Sabrina permalink
    October 12, 2012 10:46 pm

    True felicia, perhaps all of us girls unconsciously have a checklist. But when we fall for someone without having to use a checklist, we can call that spark, chemistry or love. All the blessings to u and Alex, you guys are truly lucky to have found each other =) x

    • Felicia~ permalink*
      October 13, 2012 10:18 am

      you summarised it well babe 😉 thanks sab! i really hope to catch up with ya!

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